


Highly Informative Porn

by miss_meh



Series: Mysterious Ways 'Verse [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Multi, season 6 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-25
Updated: 2012-08-25
Packaged: 2017-11-12 21:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_meh/pseuds/miss_meh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And so, for once, Gabriel managed to keep his mouth shut and set his mind to stalking Dean so that he and Sam could just put this whole mess behind them and jump into bed already. Yeah, right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Highly Informative Porn

**Author's Note:**

> This is the third story in the Mysterious Ways 'Verse. It is a sequel to That Knowing Look and The Center of It All. I have decided that there will be a total of seven one-shots in this 'verse. The next one will be from Sam's POV. A very big thank you to my beta, Delu.

After all that crap with Lucifer, Gabriel had gone into hiding. He didn't want to be a part of the final fight, not personally, and so he left Sam and Dean with some highly informative porn and then went on the lam. By the time the war was over, he was really regretting that decision. Sam was being exceedingly stubborn about forgiving him for abandoning them and Gabriel was running out of ways to apologize. He finally concluded that the only way to get back in Sam's good graces was to do something for Dean. After all, Sam's last wish before his oh so graceful swan dive into the pit had been for his brother to be happy. With that thought in mind, Gabriel enthusiastically set about stalking Dean.

The angel watched as Dean fucked his way through the pain of Sam's loss and tried to convince Sam to just go see his brother. He knew that both of them would be much happier together than they were in their current state of half-living without each other. Sam was stubborn though. He insisted that Dean must be much happier with Lisa than he ever could be in a life on the road with his younger brother. Gabriel personally thought that Sam was an idiot for thinking that way, but he let it go, knowing that he was already on shaky ground and that this was one argument he wasn't going to win.

And so, for once, Gabriel managed to keep his mouth shut and set his mind to stalking Dean so that he and Sam could just put this whole mess behind them and jump into bed already. Yeah, right.

It was actually a coincidence that Gabriel was watching Dean when Castiel showed up for the first time since he flown back to Heaven a month ago. It was early afternoon and like most young parents do, Dean and Lisa were taking the opportunity while Ben was at school to engage in what Gabriel thought must be the most vanilla sex he had ever seen. _Seriously,_ Gabriel mused as he watched them. _Couldn't they be a bit more creative? They're doing it in missionary for Dad's sake!_ It wasn't even hard and fast or slow and tender to make it interesting. When he snuck a look at Dean's face, Gabriel had to snicker when he noticed that even he looked bored.

Gabriel was taken by surprise when he saw Castiel show up in the middle of the room. The archangel saw the moment his little brother realized what he was seeing. Gabriel snapped his fingers just in time to freeze everything and keep Castiel from disappearing. Gabriel stood in front of the other angel, analyzing Castiel's facial expression for a moment before he placed it. When he did, he could've slapped himself for not realizing it sooner.

His little bro was _in love_ with Dean. Not that Gabriel could blame him. After all, those Winchesters were damn near irresistible. _Oh, Castiel,_ he thought, clapping his hands together with glee as he circled his brother's motionless form. _You're in for a rollercoaster ride with that clueless bastard._ He paused, once more facing Castiel, his fingers almost coming together to snap again when he noticed something else in his brother's eyes. Pain, betrayal, grief.

For all that Gabriel had enjoyed tossing Castiel around during the Winchester's little sojourn in TV Land, he didn't want to see his brother hurt. Not really. The injuries he had inflicted on Castiel back then had all been flesh wounds. If Dean hurt Castiel, it would affect his grace, and wounds to an angel's grace took lifetimes to heal. Gabriel would never want his little brother to have to go through that.

Determined—and with a new purpose to add to his original one—Gabriel snapped his fingers and time started flowing again. Castiel was gone almost before he could blink and without another thought, the archangel left Dean to his lackluster sex life and followed his brother's grace to a nearby park.

As he watched Castiel brood, Gabriel had to wonder why he hadn't seen it before. Gabriel was, after all, the spirit of truth. He should have been able to see the truth of this. In his defense, the only time he had actually seen Dean and Castiel together, they had been in the middle of the apocalypse and Gabriel had been trapped in a ring of holy fire. His little brother's love life had been the last thing on his mind. He had been too busy trying to convince the Wonder Brothers to slip into their roles—something that he now regretted, considering that these days the only archangel he wanted getting inside of Sam Winchester already had a vessel, and quite the handsome one at that, if he did say so himself.

Gabriel was shaken from his thoughts by the sounds of laughing children making their way onto the playground with their mothers. He realized that he had been sitting there watching his brother for over an hour and still Castiel had made no progress in figuring out his feelings. Gabriel sighed and decided to go help him out. But what form to take… He couldn't go up to Castiel looking like himself. The angel would either disappear without letting him get a word in or attempt to take him into custody. Neither option seemed conducive to getting Dean and Castiel's heads out of their asses. After a bit of thought, he finally snapped his fingers and changed into a little girl. _There,_ he thought. _That looks innocent enough._ Then, he paused and conjured up two lollipops. _Perfect!_

Unwrapping one of the lollipops and popping it into his mouth, Gabriel walked up to Castiel and tapped him on the knee. When his brother lifted his head, the archangel extended the other lollipop toward him. "Hello, mister," Gabriel said. "Want some candy?"

Castiel looked at him suspiciously for a moment and didn't respond. Seeing that a little extra force would be needed, Gabriel allowed his bottom lip to start trembling as the arm offering the candy lowered. As though sensing tears were imminent, Castiel quickly held out his hand and took the lollipop. _Heh, I wasn't known as the Trickster for nothing,_ Gabriel thought smugly as Castiel thanked him. Then Gabriel fixed the other angel with an expectant stare until Castiel gave in and started eating the candy. Once Castiel had tentatively placed the lollipop in his mouth, Gabriel smiled widely and climbed up onto the bench.

"My name's Gabrielle. Whatya doin' sitting out here looking all mopey, mister?"

Castiel stared at Gabriel for a second, but he didn't seem to be suspicious anymore. Gabriel snorted internally. The archangel didn't have to be a mind reader to know that Castiel was contemplating simply disappearing to avoid answering the question. Gabriel considered blocking his brother's ability to do so, but that would be a dead giveaway. _Drat,_ he cursed. _I might need to come up with another strategy._ Luckily for Gabriel though, Castiel had apparently decided to stay.

"I have a friend who makes me feel unlike how I usually feel. I have been trying to figure out what it means," Castiel replied.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. That had to be the most straightforward, simple definition of love he had ever heard. Was his brother really that oblivious?

The archangel forced himself to laugh and get back into character. "Well, that's an easy one, mister. You've got a crush." He said this as happily as he possibly could in an attempt not to let his exasperation show. Gabriel didn't think he did a very good job of it, but Castiel apparently bought it.

His brother gave him a confused look and tilted his head. "A crush?" And of course, Castiel didn't even know what a crush was.

Gabriel suppressed a sigh and nodded. "Sure. It means you're in love," he told Castiel, making sure to lengthen the syllables in the word 'love' as most children would.

He added in a giggle for effect and surreptitiously watched his brother's face. Castiel seemed to be coming to some conclusion and Gabriel took a quick peek into his mind to make sure he had come to the right one. When he had confirmed that Castiel had finally gotten a clue, Gabriel crunched down on the last of his lollipop and hopped down off the bench. He had to hold back another giggle when he heard the sirens and noticed a ring of wary mothers and babysitters staring at them. Oh this was priceless. They thought his baby brother was a pervert. As the police car pulled up, Gabriel turned back to Castiel and winked at him. "See ya later, Cas." Then he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

..........................................................................................................................................................

It was a few days later when he finally saw Sam again to tell him about what he had done. Gabriel knew that Sam had been on a hunt and despite his reputation as an annoying bastard, he didn't want to bother Sam while he was working. So instead he waited until Sam was finished and was doing his laundry. Then, he popped up, six inches from Sam's face, sitting on top of the dryer the man was currently stuffing full of darks.

Sam jumped. "Christ, Gabriel! Could you stop doing that?"

Gabriel shrugged. "If you haven't noticed, it's in the nature of certain angels to try and get as close as possible to their chosen Winchester. You just happen to be mine." He grinned. "Speaking of which, your brother…"

"Gabriel!" Sam snapped, cutting him off. "We've talked about this. Dean's happy with Lisa. He doesn't need me back in his life messing it up."

"Well, about that," Gabriel said. "You see, I've been watching Dean lately and he's not as happy as you think he is. I showed up while he and Lisa were having sex the other day and…" Gabriel whistled. "Boy, did he look bored. And then, who should show up but our own little Castiel. I'll tell you…" He pulled out a candy bar and took a bite between words. "…I don't really know what he sees in him, but my brother is totally in love with yours." He grinned widely at Sam. "So, you see, I nudged Castiel in the right direction. Once they get together, Castiel will be happy, Dean will be happy, you'll be happy, and then, you'll all be so happy that you'll forgive me for not helping out with the apocalypse. Sounds like a good plan, right?"

Sam stared at Gabriel for a moment before shaking his head. "Gabriel, that's not the reason I'm mad at you."

Gabriel's smile faltered. "It's—It's not?" he asked uncertainly. "If that's not… Then why?"

Sam rolled his eyes and huffed. "Gabriel, you didn't _just_ leave us in the middle of the apocalypse. You left us _thinking you were dead_ in the middle of the apocalypse." Sam shook his head again. "You let me think that you were _dead,_ Gabriel. And now, you show back up and I'm supposed to be able to think that you actually cared all along."

"Now wait just one minute, Sammy boy," Gabriel said defensively. "You guys didn't give a shit about me. I don't believe for a moment that you missed me when I died."

Sam looked sheepish. "Well, I did." He refused to meet Gabriel's eyes as he mumbled under his breath, "Don't know why. Freakin' Trickster… Killed Dean, gave me herpes, and god damn it, the porn."

"Oh, c'mon now," Gabriel protested as though Sam had actually been talking to him. "I was only trying to help you get past the pain of Dean's loss."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "And the herpes?"

Gabriel gave him a wide smile, unembarrassed. "It was funny. You know it was. Hell, if it had been Dean you would have been laughing your ass off."

"Okay, fine. What about the porn?" Sam crossed his arms and glared at Gabriel.

"You mean that little masterpiece I gave you guys telling you about the rings?" Gabriel smirked. "It was rather ingenious wasn't it?"

"That's not the part of it I was talking about. I watched the whole movie, Gabriel." A blush colored Sam's cheeks and Gabriel instantly knew what he meant.

"I—I didn't think either of you would watch past the first few minutes," Gabriel said. If he wasn't an all-powerful archangel-slash-Trickster, Gabriel might almost think that he were nervous. _Nah, it can't be._

"Dean didn't, but I thought you were enough of a dick that you might put something at the end of the movie, just so that we would have to watch you get it on with some girl." Sam's cheeks turned an even darker shade of red. "So, I was watching it and halfway through the movie the girl you were sexing up turns into me." Gabriel gulped. Before Sam said it out loud, Gabriel had been able to pretend that he and Sam might not be talking about the same thing. _So much for that._ "And somehow," Sam continued. "That just made your death so much worse, because in that porno you weren't just fucking me. I could see it in your eyes."

Gabriel could feel Sam's eyes on him and felt just as trapped as he had in that ring of holy fire all those months ago. "Sam, I…" He trailed off, not sure where to start. Gabriel thought for a moment and then, resolved, looked Sam in the eye. "I really thought I was going to die, okay? It was just luck that Lucifer didn't get me. By that point, I had already given you that porno and to be honest, I didn't expect to ever see you again because even if I had survived, you probably wouldn't." His fingers tightened into fists on top of the dryer. "You didn't," he corrected. "So anyway, I thought that the DVD I gave you was my last chance to tell you how I felt."

Sam was quiet for a moment and though Gabriel's gaze was settled firmly on the ceiling, he could feel that Sam was staring at him. Suddenly, his head was jerked down and Sam's lips were pressed to his. Gabriel's eyes widened for a moment— _Was this really happening?_ —before drifting closed. Sam licked the seam of his lips and Gabriel opened his mouth without hesitation. He wrapped his arms tightly around the man's broad shoulders and was happy to feel Sam's arms slip around his waist.

Gabriel wasn't paying attention to anything outside of the sensation of Sam pressed against him until the manager of the laundromat yelled at them. Gabriel wasn't aware of what the woman was saying and he didn't much care. He simply snapped his fingers and took them somewhere else.

..........................................................................................................................................................

Sam and Dean ended up getting back together again a few weeks later when they met on a hunt. Turns out, Dean had left Lisa because she didn't make him happy. Gabriel knew it was only a matter of time before Dean and Castiel met up again and started their epic gay romance and he tried not to be too smug when talking to Sam about it. After all, while he _could_ conjure up another porno starring him and Sam, no illusion was a substitute for the real thing.


End file.
